“Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values.” – Ellen DeGeneres
What Ellen put first on the list is honesty. Then equality. Then kindness. These aren’t random. They are the pillars of her decision to lead.
When majorities consider the concept of leadership, they imagine authority. Power. Control. One commanding other people around what to do and go ahead and listen. Ellen took a different path. She led with values. And right in the middle of her list is kindness.
This wasn’t just talk. On these values, Ellen built an empire. She created kindness as a decades-long leadership strategy. Not because it was cool to show off or that kind of stuff, but because it worked. And that is what is worth investigating.
Creating Safety to Take Risks
This is one interesting fact about kindness in leadership: it produces psychological safety. And innovation occurs in psychological safety.
Individuals exchange ideas when they feel safe. They take creative risks. They acknowledge errors before they turn out to be disasters. When they are in doubt, they ask questions rather than seeming to know them.
All of that requires trust. And goodness is speedier than any other thing in building trust.
The show created by Ellen motivated individuals to be who they are. To try new things. To experiment. That kind of leadership helps you think, It’s okay to be imperfect. We appreciate you as an individual, rather than a content maker.
Such safety is not provided by rules and policies. It is a result of regular kindness at the top.
Kind leadership does not mean avoiding difficult moments or responsibility, and Ellen DeGeneres’ influence highlights that balance. By leading with warmth and humanity, she modeled a way of guiding others that emphasized accountability without cruelty. This form of leadership invites collaboration, lowers defensiveness, and inspires people to bring their best selves forward. In that sense, kindness becomes more than a personal value; it becomes a strategic strength that builds loyalty, resilience, and long term impact.
Kindness as Accountability
Here is where the people get mixed up. They believe that kindness is not having tough conversations. Being polite rather than truthful. Going along with it as a way to maintain the peace.
That’s not kindness. That’s avoidance. It is not what Ellen talked about in her values.
That is why she put honesty first in her list. Before kindness. That’s intentional. True kindness involves sincerity. It includes accountability. It involves discussing hard conversations when necessary. The difference is the way you handle such conservation. It is easy to blame people and still treat them with dignity. You can correct mistakes without disrespecting the individual who committed the mistake and establish high standards and nurture people as they strive to reach them.
That’s kind leadership. Not soft. Not weak. Kind. There’s a huge difference.
Helping Others Succeed Makes You Succeed
One of the values that Ellen included on the list was to help the needy. That is a leadership principle that most of us overlook. Employee success is a threat to some leaders. When a member of their team is too bright, then they fear being overshadowed. Thereby they retain people, knowingly or unknowingly.
Ellen did the opposite. She was using her platform to make other people successful. Visitors, employees, viewers–she made active efforts to uplift people.
And here is the interesting bit: assisting others to succeed did not reduce her success. It amplified it. Her philanthropy was her brand name. People hoped to be around her because she was ready to share the spotlight.
That’s strategic kindness. It’s not just nice. It’s smart. It works both ways: when you make others win, you win. Everyone rises together.
Building Culture from the Top
Leaders set the tone. Whatever they imitate becomes the culture. When they are mean, culture is mean. When they are nice, kindness goes around.
Ellen was a kind person who showed kindness publicly. At the end of each of the episodes was the sentence Be kind to one another. It was not a mere slogan to the audience. It was a wake up call to all including the staff on what was important.
As long as leaders model their values, their values will become organizational DNA. People internalize them. New hires learn them. That will become the upper-down work culture.
However, it can only work when leaders practice such values. Asking to be kind and mistreating your team? That kills culture quicker than anything. Leaders are not only watched by their actions, but also by what they say.
The Long Game of Leadership
This is why kindness is an effective leadership characteristic: that it is a long-term game. Pressure and fear give quick results. However, stress and fear burn human beings. They create resentment. They send people away as soon as they can. Kindness builds loyalty. It produces employees who endure hardship. Co-workers who stand by you in times of need. Staff who are committed to the mission, not their salary.
Ellen’s show ran for 19 years. Without good leadership, that longevity does not occur. Yes, she had talent. However, talent does not make a team stay for almost twenty years. Values do. Culture does. When people want to follow the leadership that they desire.
And kindness was in the very center of that leadership, not as a weakness, but as a tactic. As a choice. As a value worth protecting.
What This Means for You
You do not have to have a television show to be a kind leader. Leadership occurs at all levels. The same can be used to lead your team, your family, your classroom, your community.
Start by asking: what values do I stand for? Write them down. Kindness is something that should be on that list. Then live them. Consistently. Especially when it’s hard.
