Do you feel that sibling rivalry is like a rollercoaster ride for you and your children? You’re right, but don’t worry! Some practical ways can help you create a happier home.
Encourage cooperation
- Help your children learn to play together, by taking them to the park or buying board games.
- When you see them getting along, praise their behaviour with hugs, play with them, take photos and put them on the fridge, or say something like, “That looks fun!”
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Set a good example
- If you disagree with your partner, apologise to each other in front of your children, and keep arguments quiet. Loud fights might lead them to solve problems the same way.
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Appreciate each child individually
- Spend one-on-one time with each child doing their favourite activity.
- Avoid labelling them by their abilities, like calling one “the bookworm” and another “the artist”. This can make them feel less valuable in other areas.
- Focus on their unique talents and how they’re improving.
- Don’t use funny or negative nicknames.
- Discipline them privately to avoid embarrassment
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Listen to them
- Encourage them to share their feelings about conflicts and their underlying reasons.
- Listen to all viewpoints without taking sides. They’ll feel heard and you’ll better manage future situations.
- Never blame one child because this can worsen the situation.
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Set clear house rules together
- Make house rules together for everyone’s agreement.
- Hang rules in a visible spot to promote teamwork for a happy family.
- When making the rules, explain the difference between equal and fair. Since children have different ages, they have different schedules and needs, but that doesn’t mean parents aren’t fair. Examples include staying up late or going to preschool.
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Prepare them for a new baby
- Talk to them about the new baby and how they can help.
- Involve them in preparations.
- Reassure them that your love for them will not change.
- Read books about welcoming a new baby.
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Let them help and praise them
- Give them simple tasks related to the baby.
- Remember to praise them with comments like, “I love how helpful you are with the baby.”
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Teach healthy emotional handling
- Establish rules against hitting, yelling, or name-calling during disagreements.
- Teach them how to express strong emotions through physical activity or art.
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Encourage mindful sharing
- Teach younger siblings to ask permission before taking things from older ones.
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