Divorce recovery gets even more physically and mentally difficult when you are still in love with your former spouse. But since they are done with you, you don’t need to put your life on hold because you cannot move on.
Explore the useful strategies on how to get over your ex and create your own path to move forward and start a new life without remorse.
Cope with Emotions
When your marriage termination is only on the horizon, you are more bothered with how much a divorce lawyer cost, how to tell your family and friends, how to deal with marital property and so on. But when you are done with all the official processes and have a divorce decree already in your hands, you get entirely different concerns.
You get suffocated with emotions and feelings connected to the loss and failure you are going through. In order not to let the negative emotions guide you, it is better to apply the following measures:
- Get rid of negativity – don’t allow despair, anger, and grief to take control over you. Get into some quiet and distant place where no one can see and hear you and cry, shout, beat the cushion, or shake yourself to release the tension and negativity. If you don’t fancy such methods, a good workout on a regular basis can become a great alternative.
- Talk it out – get a listener you can trust and talk it all out. How you feel, what you think of your ex, your failed marriage, what you need and wish right now. Don’t ask for any advice; just tell what bothers you to get rid of similar thoughts buzzing in your mind.
- Stop idealizing your ex – your ex is not perfect, and you are not the only person to hold the blame. Remember what made you break up and what are the biggest turn-offs for you in your ex.
- Quit the one-match idea – give up on the idea that you can only have one soulmate in a lifetime. Understand that you will meet a better match one day, and keep on that thought to move forward.
- Keep a ‘positive’ journal – learn to spot and treasure little pleasantries in your life. You can keep a journal and write at least three good things that happened to you every day. This will help you develop positive thinking and move forward easier.
Emotional recovery may be the most complicated post-divorce stage. Put in decent efforts and wish to get better to succeed and get over your former spouse eventually.
Deal with Break-up
In addition to emotional healing and realization, changing your life physically will also grant you power and ideas on how to deal with divorce when you still love him. Check out some useful steps to apply:
- Get busy in the post-breakup time – go to work, study, meet with friends, clean your house, and attend all possible festivals and social events right after your break-up. This way, you will leave no place and time to get depressed and regret your divorce.
- Follow the routine – create a new routine so that you don’t feel the emptiness without your former partner by your side. Insert new healthy and positive habits not to opt for self-destructive tendencies instead.
- Get distracted – you need some strong distractions after the break-up not to focus on your unhappy relationships. Spend more time with your friends, go to parties and double dates, take a shopping tour, and more.
- Do what you like – when choosing free time activities, select the ones that bring you joy and pleasure. This way, it will be easier for you to feel happy after the relationship is not progressing.
- Create a support team – even if you are super independent, get a support team for tough times. Organize a girlish night over, burn the photos and belongings of your ex together, or just sit and share your worries.
Dealing with break-ups is not a mission impossible if you know what to do next. Make your transition to a new life smooth and filled up with positive things and good habits.
Switch the Focus from Your Ex to Yourself
The main point of a healthy and peaceful break-up is to stop thinking about your former spouse but start worrying more about yourself. Review the helpful things to do:
- Throw the mementos away – you don’t need any memories from the past to tear your heart apart and make you regret your broken marriage. Get all physical and digital reminders about your former relationships away and get rid of them completely if you are ready. Remember to clean up on social media as well.
- Forget the farewell sex idea – having sex with your former partner after a break-up is the worst idea ever. You will only add to the guilt, inconveniences, and disappointment between you two.
- Commit to new and existing connections – instead of stalking your ex, concentrate on nurturing existing or new relationships. Spend more time with your true friends, don’t be afraid to go on a day, reconnect with your family, and more.
- Recall your old interests – take up hobbies and interests you used to do before marriage, or you quit because your partner didn’t approve. Maybe your career or talent success is sleeping there.
- Take up a new project – get involved with something new and interesting. Set an aim, create a plan, and follow it with a passion for succeeding. It is not bad if you take your prospering future as your project and put in all your efforts and planning skills to become happy in the end.
While accepting the end of my marriage may be tough, this is the start of a new you. Learn to cope with your feelings and emotions, get over the divorce with useful habits and supportive friends by your side and care about yourself more than you bother about your ex’s life to implement your needs and wishes without delay.